An Argument At Sea

I'm not a happy bunny.

In the past five days or so of this ocean voyage, I've been:
Covered in spilt beer
Shouted at
Slapped
Punched
Kicked
Thrown into the swimming pool
Half-drowned by a football thug and his unruly children
Almost stabbed by a cocktail-umbrella wielding waiter
Actually stabbed by a coctail-stick wielding mother of three from Essex
Sent into spasms of pain as vinegar was poured on my wound (that one was Deadfast, as he offered me some of his fish and chips for tea)
and
Found "doing a Jack and Rose" at the front of the ship, naked, with a bottle of tequila in one hand and my "special purpose" in the other whilst singing Celine Dion songs to the Captain's daughter.



The Captain has politely informed Deadfast and I that our trip is effectively over, and we will be asked to leave when we next pull-in to port.
We are making an unscheduled stop sometime today, at the Captain's request, and then I've got to make arrangements for our transport home.
For his part, Deadfast (who started the whole argument that caused all of this) is asleep.

I wish I could tell you the port we'll be disembarking at but, due to the shouting and throwing of nautical equipment in my general direction, I kind of missed it.

Hey ho.
It's all an experience, I guess.

-Walter