Webbed feet.

The spider costume is called Ian.

Ian, the spider costume, is rather an aggressive young... spider... and he proved that this morning, when he webbed the postman to my front step.

Mohammed, the postman, was delivering my new subscription to "Big Huts" magazine, and (so Ninjaraffe told me moments ago) he let out a scream when Ian opened the door, and tried to stamp on him with his big postal boots.
So, Ian webbed his feet to my front step.

It was only ten minutes ago that he was set free... I finally managed to undo Ian's sticky mess with some boiling water.

Is there anybody out there?

I'm writing this from... well... I an only describe it as "London, but not".

I think, whilst searching for Spooky, I've tumbled into a parallel universe.

I can only presume this because there is a giraffe sitting on the sofa of my small London apartment, and he is talking to a spider costume.
Yes, a spider costume.
The costume... of a spider...