Shanghai

I'm in Shanghai.

Previously, when I said that the "adventure's a-foot" I meant that the adventure IS a foot... Deadfast is in search of the lost Golden Foot of King Dingle Dangle Dong.

For some reason, the golden artificial limb of this ancient Ducth king is worth a lot of money and Deadfast knows a man who knows a man who knows a woman who heard a man who met a woman who had heard a conversation on the back of the bus about a man who had met a man who had a friend who had killed his uncle and had stolen and then sold a foot made of gold.

Or something.

Anyway, Deadfast is off talking to one of his "contacts", so I've had some time to wander around the city and see the sites.
Which is nice.

It's an excellent place, but very strange.

For a start, they don't tell you in all of the brochures that the first thing people do when they get out of the airport is start spitting.
Seriously; they have spittoons next to all of the bins so that the old people and their phlegm doesn't splatter the pavement.
So, the first sounds I heard in Shanghai were "huuuuck---pitooo".

After finding the hotel and getting a little sleep, I venutred off to explore.
As I wandered along on my way, I walked past a school.
There were about 400 kids in the playground, all listening to a tannoy, and dancing in time.
400 kids doing exactly the same thing... I thought I'd wandered into "Children Of The Corn" for a moment!
The dancing stopped, and they marched into the school.
I'm telling you now; these people will take over the world, all led by some evil headmaster with a masterplan and a loud-hailer.

Past the school, I came to what at first I thought was a Kung-Fu movie shoot... there seemed to be alot of people all performing bullet-time Kung-Fu moves.
As I got closer, I realised that I was the only person in the entire park who was under 70 years of age... and it wasn't a movie; they were doing Tai Chi.
About 150 old people, all performing various slow-mo moves.
There was also an old man sitting on a bench smoking a cigarette, which is a martial art discipline I'd never heard of before.

I moved slowly, as not be noticed, and made my way past the Tai Chi old people.
I then came across, in the same park, a even larger group of old people taking part in some ballroom dancing.
I'm sure that isn't the most efficient martial art, but what does a Westener know?

I left the park as soon as I could, and followed some signs to see "THE JADE BUDDHA", which is situated near the People's Park, apparently.

I was very disapointed.
The sign was wrong.
It wasn't a jade buddha. It was a jaded buddha.
A fat man, drinking Guinnesss, was sitting on the steps of the temple, moaning about how he wanted a Ferrari.

Shanghai is an odd place.
I'm back in the hotel bar, wondering when Deadfast'll turn up.